How to Reduce Conflict in an Alabama Divorce

There are a number of steps you can take to ensure you reduce conflict during and after your divorce. Continue reading and give our skilled Pensacola divorce lawyer a call today.


Begin living in the present

It’s important to allow yourself to go through a mournful process to grieve the loss of your old life. But be sure not to let resentment and anger towards your ex keep you from creating a functional relationship in the present for your kids.

Start rehearsing effective communication

If your former spouse sends you foul emails, you don’t need to, nor should you, verbalize your low opinion of your former spouse’s choices. No matter what tone your ex approaches you with, keep your responses brief and unbiased.

Start being a good co-parent

You owe it to your children to be the best co-parent you can be. Look at your ex as a business associate that you don’t especially like, but need to get along with in order to operate a successful business – but in this circumstance, the business is your children. Concentrate on protecting your children from conflict and show them how mature adults handle differences.


Stop trying to get your ex to change

If you were incapable of changing your ex when you were married, you are even less likely to be successful now. No one enjoys being criticized or wants unrequested advice, especially if it’s given in a harsh, condescending tone. Nothing you do or say will convince your ex they need to change their personality or choices to suit you, and your efforts to turn them into a different person will only perpetuate conflict.

Stop engaging in electronic warfare

Most divorce warfare is carried out via email and texting. Even if you’re not the one that typically starts a rude email, you may be reacting in a way that invites more conflict: being defensive, sarcastic, or refusing to respond to important information. The best way to counteract nasty communication is to respond in a brief, neutral way that sticks to facts.

Stop acting like the perfect parent

Are you giving your ex parenting advice? Trying to deny them to doctors and teachers? Your #1 job as a divorced parent is to help your child’s relationship with your ex, not to win the perfect parent competition. Unless your former spouse poses a fair safety risk to your kids or asks you for your advice, you need to let them parent in their method.


The Law Office of James M. Burns helps people through various legal issues, including those involving criminal law, family law, personal injury law, and will & probate law. Contact us today to schedule your initial consultation.